Season One Ep 1 Give Me a Ring Sometime

Sam: "How you doin', Norm? Whaddya know?"

Norm: "Not enough."

Not Norm's finest quip, but George Wendt's delivery got an unexpected laugh, and one of television's defining traditions was born, giving writers a huge headache as they tried to keep the gag fresh over eleven seasons. Welcome to Cheers, the place where everybody knows your name, and no one knows how to pour a proper beer!

This inaugural post sets the stage for a twice-weekly look at TV's greatest screwball comedy, but subsequent installments won't run half as long, promise. For stray thoughts, trivia, and a dedicated chronicle of Danson's hair, see NOTES below the main text.

Diane meets Sam. Sam meets Diane. And the earth gently shifts its axis. To quote John McLaughlin, "a pseudointellectual college student walked into a bar and met a recovering alcoholic ex-relief pitcher for The Boston Red Sox." An intriguing scenario made magic by our two leads. History's given us some great onscreen couples--Tracy and Hepburn...Powell and Loy...Swayze and Reeves...but they ain't got nuthin' on Danson and Long! With a whole cast to introduce, there's not much plot here, but Boston University student, Diane Chambers, finds herself abandoned at the bar by her older lover/professor when he leaves her for his ex-wife, jetting off to Barbados with reservations meant for Diane. Finding herself ill-equipped for non-scholastic life, but impressively able to rattle off lengthy drink orders, Diane reluctantly accepts Sam's offer to waitress, rationalizing, "here I am, I'm a student - not just in an academic sense, but a student of life. And where better than here to study life in all its many facets? People meet in bars, they part, they rejoice, they suffer, they come here to be with their own kind....". The fact that Sam looks like he's chiseled from marble probably doesn't hurt.

Most sitcoms take some time to find their legs, but Cheers nails it from the start. It's crazy how natural the formula feels, and the Sam/Diane dynamic's pretty well set in the first five minutes. What strikes me most is the look of the leads. Long's easy-breezy sexy; her hair and wardrobe still have one foot in the seventies, and she's all the cuter for it. There's a softness there that she loses as '80s style starts to creep in over the next couple seasons, and someone really should've cast her and Blythe Danner as sisters. Long story Long, I'm smitten! Then there's Ted Danson. Ted Motherlovin' Danson. This is what I see when I picture the last perfect evolutionary step to modern man. A stud with the face of Burt Lancaster and the wiry body and soul of Dick Van Dyke. Danson here's more of the straight man, though some buffoonery shines through. It's subtle, but Sam's even tinged with a sad streak, and we feel him strain in his sobriety more palpably than I'd expected. You can see Danson feeling out the character a little, but Shelley Long's da bomb! In the history of comedy, I can't think of an actress who was more fully in command of her talents, and I don't think history's been as kind to her as she deserves. Maybe it's because she makes it look so easy, but she's a force!

The script's screwball mix of high and lowbrow from creators, Glen and Les Charles, refines the formula they'd been working with on shows like The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Taxi, and their MTM collaborator/co-creator, James Burrows, keeps the camera moving in a way that holds the eye without getting too fussy.

And how 'bout that supporting cast!? Carla's cute and crusty, Coach is savant-level sage and it's nice seeing the late great Nicholas Colasanto looking hale and hearty, Norm's his usual sardonic self, and Cliff's bursting with knowledge which he drops in a great bar-wide debate over "sweatiest movie ever made". John Ratzenberger's not credited up front for the first season, relegated to "and" status in the end credits, but he almost wasn't there at all. After auditioning for Norm, ace improviser Ratzenberger suggested a Clavin-esque know-it-all, and Cliff was born, fast becoming an integral part of the ensemble. The gang had to know they were onto something special, but I doubt anyone predicted eleven seasons of sweet comic gold would follow. And I can't wait to dive in. Join me, won't you?

NOTES:

Danson Hair

Like a thick heap of auburn cotton candy. Early Sam's almost swarthy. There's way more hair here than meets the eye--enough to easily conceal the bald spot on Danson's crown which was visible as early as his '80 appearance on Magnum PI. Danson's gotta have one damn flaw, and my own hair's fading fast, so I hope he wouldn't be hurt by my obsession with his estimable amorphous mane.

Guest Stars

- John P. Navin Jr. has the first line on the show, failing to convince Sam he's of age with his fake ID. Navin co-starred with Long in Losin' It, and seems to have left the acting profession around '93. Someone should've cast him as Bruno Kirby's son!

- Ron Frazier appears as sad sack patron, Ron, and seemed like he might recur but, nope. Still, he stayed busy onscreen for years after, and passed in '03.

Trivia

- the old woman sitting in the wheelchair seen prominently was meant to be a recurring character, but her lines were cut and the role dropped. This also spares them from eventually explaining how the hell she got down those narrow steps in a time before mandated accessibility. Because, as shown in season 9 ep 5, the place apparently has no emergency exit!?

- During the sweatiest movie debate, Cliff suggests Body Heat, a film Danson starred in one year prior, and Ted almost seems to wink at the mention.

Stray Thoughts

- Why do I hear the MTM cat's "meow" after the Cheers theme? Lotsa MTM alum worked on Cheers, but the show itself didn't come from the studio. Still, that little MGM Lion-spoofing 'mew' haunts me.

- Biggest Box Office draw from the Cheers cast? You might think Woody Harrelson, but I'm gonna go with John Ratzenberger. Besides his good luck charm omnipresence in Pixar flicks, he also shows up in Superman I & II, plus The Empire Strikes Back. Side note: Ratzenberger's first film role is in Superman II helmer Dick Lester's The Ritz, an underrated-if-slightly-dated film I highly recommend!

That's all for the first installment. Thanks for reading, and check back for further episodes twice-weekly!

Kevin Gibson